ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
