i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize