the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
A+ Viking dick
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
