She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
