I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
