Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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