i need an iv and a liver transplant
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
What a dumb baby whore.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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