someone get that fucking seahorse.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
