You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
