wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
