he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
