Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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