I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
