I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
