there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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