When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
