Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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