i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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