when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
