She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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