carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
