I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
