i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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