it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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