well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
