8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
