isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
