Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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