i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
