I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
