totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize