woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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