Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
