i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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