You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
