Why are handjobs necessary in class?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
