just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
