I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
