Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
