on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
