im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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