Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Randomize
