Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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