so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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