I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
