You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
