I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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