He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
