His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
