dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
