sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
