We need to rekindle our bromance
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Someone came in the potted fern
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
