im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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