I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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