I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Still dying that you shit outside
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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