Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my shit smells like andre
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
