This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
time to smoke my breakfast
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
