saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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