You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
