my mouth tastes like poor choices
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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