the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize