im drinking this country out of the recession.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
