i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
